I have anxiety. This is difficult for me to admit, not because I’m ashamed but, because I feel like if I admit my anxiety, then I claim it. Claiming my anxiety feels much a lot like defeat. I don’t want my anxiety to become my not-so silent partner as I walk through this life. So, I wrestle with it. At times, it feels overwhelming and hopeless, yet I often find hope through prayer and in God’s word. In one of my dark moments recently, God led me to the following passage.
In the midst of struggle, I go into panic mode. I’m sure the disciples were in the same boat (pun intended) when they saw the wind and the waves. The Bible tells us that Jesus, who was still on land and a “considerable distance” from the his disciples, could see that their boat was against the wind and buffeted by the waves. The disciples found themselves caught in an unexpected storm.
I can imagine the panic in their voices when they saw Christ walking towards them on the water; when they exclaimed, “It’s a ghost!” But what is Jesus doing throughout all this?
Lord in the Dark
Jesus saw the boat in peril; he knew his friends well, and knew their panic. So…“shortly before dawn, Jesus went out to them, walking on the water.”
Let’s get this straight: Jesus is walking on the water…during a storm…in the middle of the night. If this doesn’t paint a picture of a humble, loving God who will literally do anything for you, I don’t know what will.
As for me, I’ve noticed that trouble always seems to come at night. Yet, I take comfort in the fact that Jesus isn’t afraid of the dark. He’s out in it.
My husband is one of the few people who can calm me when I am having an anxiety attack. Yet there are times, when his best efforts don’t work. Sometimes, his efforts to help me gather my thoughts only heightens my anxiety.
When the disciples see Jesus walking toward them on the water, they think he is a ghost. Fear has so gripped these men, that they can’t recognize help when it is coming for them. But Jesus tells them: Take courage. Don’t be afraid.
His words are both command and an invitation. Take courage. You can’t take something unless it has been given to you. Therefore, Christ is offering courage to those who are willing to reach out and take it.
So when you’re in your darkest moments and you’re so afraid, remember there is nothing that can separate you from God. He is Lord of the Light and of the Dark, and he’ll meet you right where you are, and offer you the courage to go on.